The matriarch of the family and her emotional state influences the collective nervous system of the entire family. A mother’s nervous system must be cared for, prioritized and nurtured. Enormous responsibility rests on the shoulders of mothers everywhere. While these women love and enjoy their children more than anything, the weight of it all can make it incredibly difficult for mothers to make space for their own self-care. With a bit of mindfulness and some shifting of priorities, it is possible to regain a balanced nervous system within family life. Let us explore the question:
How do you regulate a dysregulated nervous system?
Healing of the mother’s nervous system by finding quiet time to explore your own interests.
Everyone on this bountiful Earth needs space sometimes! Sleep deprived, touched-out mamas everywhere need a day off every now and then. Or at least a few hours for goodness sake! New mothers especially need extra help during their transition period into motherhood. They need a chance to allow their parasympathetic nervous system to reset. Have the family step in. Whether it is a partner, aunties and uncles, neighbors or a babysitter, make sure that the mother of the house gets some time to herself now and then. As long as baby’s needs are met by another loved one, it is best to take a bit of space at times. This way, when baby’s own mother steps back in, she is renewed. Consider taking turns caring for the children with the women of the neighborhood so that everyone can find some time to themselves!
We all have things that we are interested in. Somewhere, deep down, we all have passions to explore. As a mother of small children, it can be all too easy to forget who you are outside of your babies. Read a book, break out a journal, go for a walk in nature. Take deep breaths and reflect. You are on time and everything is as it should be. Not a speck of dust is out of place in the universe, and you will find your way.
Plant allies and herbs to support the mother’s nervous system.
There are an abundance of beautiful plants on this Earth that want to help you find balance! Passionflower, ashwagandha, kava, lavender, and chamomile- just to name a few! Tulsi is also an amazing stress relieving plant. A nice cup of tea can go a long way in helping you find peace and settle an overstimulated nervous system.
Learning how drastically a woman’s brain changes during pregnancy can help us understand why such a toll is taken on a mother’s nervous system.
New research shows that a mother’s brain experiences a significant loss of gray matter. While this can affect the overall brain structure of postpartum women, these significant changes are a completely normal part of human design. Gray matter in the brain is where the processing of sensation, perception, voluntary movement, learning, speech and cognition takes place.
“Mommy brain” is a very real thing and should be acknowledged with love and compassion. It seems that real memory loss takes place after the birth of a child. Perhaps it is intentional, divine design that causes a woman to forget about many of the unpleasant parts of pregnancy and child birth. Do you think, this way, she’ll be more willing to do it all over again?
When we think about how the loss of gray matter can affect a woman’s brain, her emotional states, social interactions, negative emotions, positive emotions and overall maternal behavior, it can help us to understand the extreme changes she has just undergone. It makes all the sense in the world that maternal stress is so high when all of these brain changes have just taken place.
Support the new mothers during their transition into motherhood.
First-time mothers need support through their postpartum period. Mothers crave positive interaction with their loved ones. Postpartum depression is hugely common and NORMAL. The fluctuating hormones can cause any mother to not understand what is happening or why she is feeling this way. A sister to sit with can be such a comfort and really assist in settling a mother’s nervous system. We have the ability, as friends, to help these women through a period of high stress levels and potentially chronic stress as they enter a new chapter of motherhood.
Adopt a healthy lifestyle including proper diet and exercise.
It may sound overly basic and cliche, but nothing beats a rich nourishing diet and a regular movement routine. These two things, along with adequate hydration can completely change the game when it comes to how you feel in your daily life. High quality, organic food is an investment in your health. Take care of your body and it will take care of you.
Explore breath work and build a regular meditation practice for a balanced nervous system.
Meditating every day is completely realistic and worth it. Carving out this time for yourself every day can create lasting changes in your life for the better. The stress response that takes place in the maternal brain can be very extreme. This is something that requires patience, though new moms everywhere have the ability within them to regulate their flight or fight response and return to a place of healthy brain activity. It is nothing short of a miracle, the amount of space and bandwidth expansion that can take place when a regular meditation practice is implemented.
There are lots of different breath work patterns out there to try that can help settle your nervous system. Yoga With Adriene is a great free resource for trying out breath work along with excellent yoga classes from the comfort of your own home.
When possible, sleep more and caffeinate less.
Nothing can replace a good night of abundant sleep, including caffeine. Caffeine can hang around in our systems for 10 hours or more! Try to keep this in mind and refrain from consuming that 3pm cup of coffee, whenever possible.
It is also best to turn off the screens at least an hour before bed, if you can swing it. Being on our devices late at night can affect our circadian rhythms and therefore affect the depth of sleep that we receive.
Practice grounding and connect with the Earth.
Grounding is a healing practice where we take off our shoes and connect with the bare Earth. The energetic field of the planet is incredibly healing and can do wonders in helping our bodies and our minds to find a place of balance.
Be intentional with any alone time you can find.
For an incredible tool to help you be intentional with your self care check out these monthly journals! Silk & Sonder is a planner, journal, and self-care tool. It is full of deep dive questions each month that can help you to get clear on your goals and organize your thoughts. It has helped me immensely in staying consistent with my self-care practices as well as healing trauma and clearing my mind through regular journaling prompts. I earn a small commission when you follow the link above to make a purchase. I use these blessed books in my daily life and I can not recommend them enough.
Thank you for being here! I hope you have gained insight from this post. For a deeper look at self-care check out my post Self- Care For Mothers: The Chronically Overlooked Priority.